 |
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Finally! I JUST finally had my first prenatal check up here in wonderful Troy, NY we moved here in mid August. ( a little ranting about the f-ed up medicade/managed care system )everybody at the office was super nice, and awesome, the doctor we saw today (Dr, Melody Bruce, there are several doctors, and nurse midwives there, and they like to rotate, so that when you go into labor, you will have seen whoever is on call at least once) was totally sweet and nice, and was super gentile during the checkup and pelvic exam. then we listened to the baby's heartbeat (nice and strong!). we discussed the usual pregnancy aches and pains, and diet etc. afterwords we made our next two week appointment, which will also be another ultra sound to double check the due date, and also to be sure that Tommy is getting into the proper (head down) birthing position. everything is coming together so well now, and this OBGYN group seems so awesome, I'm finally beginning to feel a bit more relaxed about this whole baby thing! :d Tags: baby, banal, health, stress
Current Mood:  chipper
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
-- Theodore Roosevelt.
well, I have the big stick now, but I never did get the talk softly part down.
yeah, I have a cane.
my sciatic has been becoming more and more problematic lately, and last week wen we went to Watertown for groceries, I could barely walk, so yesterday we stopped by Walgreen's and Bill bought me a cane.
I really, really disliked the helpless feeling I was getting, I hated not being able to go where I wanted or do what I wanted, even in my own house, several times lately I've needed to ask Bill to come help be get from one room to another. it's an awful feeling.
So now I have a big fat look at me I'm a gimp cane.
fuck.
You know what the worse part is? it's not always bad, I'm usually ok when I wake up in the morning, and I can get to work and go almost a full 8 hours on my feet working with no problem but as soon as I get in the car to come home... BAM! I usually have trouble pulling my ass out of the car it hurts so bad, and then the rest of the day is shot.
or there are times like today, I was fine when I woke up, but I laid down on my back for a while, and apparently that's a bad position, and I had a lot of pain after getting up, and could barely walk. I can't do yoga. which sometimes helps, I don't have time or will power to pull my ass out of bed early enough to do it before work, and I'm to much in pain after work to even think about it.
My family understands because they've all been through crap like this, but I get weird looks from other people. and I'm sure if Tammy (my boss) finds out i'll never hear the end of it. I'm "too young to have pain" or I must be faking it, blah blah.
fuck.
I give up. |  |
Tags: banal, owies
Current Mood:  bitchy
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ugh Work was annoying today. Apparently the computer has a vendetta against me... or maybe it's just because it's a piece of crap running off of win 98, which is completely fucked up. And I can't wait until I can figure out where everything goes and how everything is done so I don't need to wait for my grandmother to putz around and explain stuff. Things would go so much faster and smoother then. I go to warm up my car after work (dad fixed it! YAY! THANK YOU DADDY!) and I pull up to pick up grandma outside the front door, and she had forgotten the mail we needed o send out...*sigh. I'll take care of it tomorrow. Should have done it myself, but I thought she would remember. Oh well. I come home and I have one hell of a headache starting. And I see dad hadn't switched my clothed to the dryer like I had asked him to do. *sigh. Great, now that's going to take forever to finish. I come upstairs to take a piss and maybe lay down for a nap. And dad's on the computer trying to order his prescriptions. And of course even though he's done it a million times he still has to have me there to hold his hand. Bah Mom calls and wanted to know of I would go with her to staples to take back the printer she just bought for work. Apparently it's broken. And I told her I was hoping to go see Big Fish with Monica. Btu I wasn't sure because of my headache. And I couldn't get a hold of Monica 'cus dad was on the computer. And I wanted to see if she was online first (that and I couldn't remember her number and needed to look it up) Dad hears me mention him in the other room and starts bitching because I'm talking about him, and wants to know who I'm talking to. Them mom wants to talk to him. And she starts bitching at Him because he's keeping me from talking to Monica. Now I didn't have a problem with waiting until he was done. But mom hadn't given me a chance to explain. So no dads all angry and bitchy 'cus mom bitched at him. And I have a huge headache. I finally call Monica (she wasn't online) and tell her I don't think I can see the movie tonight. And I feel horrible about it 'cus it's her birthday and we've been wanting to see this for a while. But I cannot sit through a movie with this headache. *sigh so now I'm going to go take a nap and wait for mom to come home, and yell at me about dad, and go to staple with her. And maybe I'll be feeling better when I wake up and will be able to at least go over to Monica's later and hang out. Tags: banal, family, owies
Current Mood: cranky
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Went to the office to scope the place out. It was a MESS. They were very unorganized, files everywhere and random stuff that obviously didn't belong in the office were strewn about the shelves. I nearly cried when I got to the computer. Slooow dial up connection, the desktop was a mess (I'm kinda obsessive about messy computer desktops and file placement) and there were programs w/o CDs. The old secretary apparently took a lot of work home and did it there because she was too lazy to get the Word CD out and install the features needed to do them. And also had a tendency to randomly put files wherever she felt. *sigh the pastor at larger should be there tomorrow and I can get some info from him to work on the bulletin (that should only take an hour or so with all the info I need.) and John will be there so I can talk to him about the books (there really weird, first time I have seen the total listed first in a ledger and with side numbers between it and the numbers being totaled) Also, luckily I have a program here at home that I can't use but would work beautifully for putting together the addresses for the mailing lists and Tower Times. (The old secretary took it home and used her own special program. Guess she though she was going to work there forever and nobody else would ever need to do it too....) Its going to be weird tomorrow, I wore my only pair of fitting pants (my others are tow tight with the swelling yet, but that should go down in about a month or so) so I have to wear a skirt and the only one I have that's good enough for all this cold is my black gothy skirt... so the cute little pagan Goth church secretary gets to meet the Baptist minister she has to work with. Meow My belly button hurts, The doc gave me Silver sulfadiazine to put in it to help it heal and prevent any fungus that may be wanting to grow in its warm moist breeding ground. Unfortunately it burns and itches like crazy now, and is making it look all gross and gooey, and I think I may be making the previous yucky parts peel. My belly button also started bleeding again a little, but I don't know it was caused by my overzealous cleaning, or the ointment. Well I need sleep; have to get up in the morning to go back to the office again. Blech. toodlies Tags: banal, bodywork, health, looks, outside, owies, rant, spirituality, work
Current Mood:  tired
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
:: whimper :: this is going to be a baaad week. It all started today. In the immortal words of Garfield "I HATE MONDAYS!!!!!" First I went to talk to my professors about moving my finals around so I can take them because I will be in and recovering from surgery during finals week. Pope wants me to come in this Friday after my long day of classes all day in the kitchen and take my final for him then. (the last day of classes is the next Monday, but I'll have to do without it.) Then Tony wants me to come in Monday (which is a Friday schedule) after my long day of classes and in the kitchen to take my culinary final which he I'll be changing around because I won't be able to cook for him like he wanted. And to give me my wine tasting final as a take home. I'll have to wait until next semester to take my sanitation and safety final 'cus you can only take it at certain times. And I'm going to have to pay an extra $15 to take it, because the cost is included in the price of the class, but it won't carry over for me. Then after all that stress I came home and called mom to tell her. At which time she informs me that my pre admission testing and briefing for my surgery was scheduled for Friday right smack in the middle of class. Which I couldn't skip because I hade to take my test afterwards too. So she called around nd rescheduled everything. Unfortunately the only time she could reschedule for was TODAY at 1. Sooo I ran over to the hospital and went through all of that. It too HOURS, they poked and prodded me and took blood and made me bleed to time my clotting, and they talked to me about what I needed to eat and my health history and the type of anesthesia I would be under and medications and the whole nine yards. Then I went in to talk to my doctor who would be performing the procedure, and he has this really thick accent and I could hardly understand him but he talked about the incisions (it will look like a very short T with the top part going from hip to hip, yep, I'm gonna be gutted, I'm surprised they won't be hanging my upside down or something... yeesh) and several times during all this crap I broke down crying. I'm so nervous about all of this, I'm scared. I mean they are going to be cutting me open for crissake! And I'm going to be stuck in bed for two weeks. *sigh I'm so nervous and worried about all of this. After all the hospital stuff was done I headed back to my car to come home and take a nap till class. One problem. My car was dead, wouldn't start. All the lights would come on and it would ding and the belt would move, but it wouldn't start. So mom called AAA and it took them and HOUR to get over and look at it. Turns out my gear shifter thingy is going and my car will only start if it is in neutral. But they suggested I not drive it because it would just wear it out even more. So I got it home and had to wait for mom to come home with the van so I could drive THAT to class and prepare for my final presentation in marketing with the rest of my group. Bah By the end of the presentation (which went pretty well) I was so tired from everything today, and my eyes were so blurry from exhaustion and crying so much that I was wobbling and could barely see. My professor said I could leave early and gave me the final (a take home). Mom had come with me because it's my first time really driving the van since I got my license, so she drove me home and I came right upstairs and changed into my glasses and wrote this. Now I think I'm going to go take a loooong hot bath and go to bed. Tags: banal, bodywork, family, skool, stress
Current Mood:  crappy
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
So I wake up this morning, and I'm freezing. I figure it's just really cold out and close my windows and throw on a sweater. Then I go downstairs, it's still freezing and dad is all bundled up. Our heater is dead and the guy can't come and fix it till noon. Bah! So i cut out of there and go driving looking for some local craft shops I looked up on the net. My car is nice and toasty, but I can't find a single one of the shops so I give in a head home. It's still cold. Mom and dad run off to go grocery shopping and I stick around and knit waiting for the Agway guy to come fix our heater. The guy finally comes and gives us 10 gallons of fuel, 'cus dad thought we were out. We weren't out of fuel, we had blows a circuit. So the poor guy had to try and figure out which circuit it was and replace the breaker but the power boxed were originally labeled in pencil so he couldn't figure out which went where. Eventually he figured it out. He then came back up to tell me that all the seals are broken and we can't fill up with more fuel until they are fixed 'cus otherwise the whole thing will blow. But otherwise it's all fixed and we have 10 free gallons of fuel. Now I'm just waiting for the house to warm back up and my parents to come home so I can give them the news. Tags: banal, family, knitting
Current Mood:  cold
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ok, WTF? I put up my sleepy away message last night and just after I do, I get the alert that Alfa is back. Now admittedly he said he wouldn't be back until tomorrow, but he's said that before and come back that night, so I decided to message him, this is the log.
Session Start (AIM - firesoulmoon:Xxxxxxxxxxx): Wed Aug 13 01:29:57 2003
[01:30] fire soul moon: great timing just as i'm gettign ready for bed
[01:30] fire soul moon: :P
[01:30] fire soul moon: ;)
[01:30] fire soul moon: meow
[01:30] fire soul moon: :: kitty kisses :: night
Session Close (Xxxxxxxxxxx): Wed Aug 13 01:30:31 2003
Session Start (AIM - firesoulmoon:Xxxxxxxxxxx): Wed Aug 13 01:31:36 2003
[01:31]Xxxxxxxxxxx: sorry, but alfa is sleeping with me for the rest of his life!:)
[01:31] *** Auto-response sent to Xxxxxxxxxxx: To sleep: perchance to dream
Session Close (Xxxxxxxxxxx): Wed Aug 13 11:36:02 2003
Then the bitch has the audacity to IM my YIM account, first off I wanna know how she knew it was me, and secondly where does she get the fucking right!
Session Start (Yahoo! - Alien_Sunset:Xxxxx_xxxxx_xxxxxxxxx): Wed Aug 13 01:39:07 2003
[01:39] Xxxxx_xxxxx_xxxxxxxxx: Hi, this is Maria. Sorry, but I wanted to let ya know that he wasn't the one who got your kisses...Ooops! Have a good nite's sleep anyways....~Maria~
[01:39] *** Auto-response sent to Xxxxx_xxxxx_xxxxxxxxx: To sleep: perchance to dream
[01:39] Xxxxx_xxxxx_xxxxxxxxx: uh huh?
Session Close (Xxxxx_xxxxx_xxxxxxxxx): Wed Aug 13 11:08:55 2003
Fucking bitch. First to be looking at his personal messages and then to replay to me like that and go out of her way to send an IM to my YIM as well! Grrrrr. Before this I was pretty neutral, not like she did any of this to Alfa on purpose, but this is unforgivable. Tags: banal, rant, young love
Current Mood:  pissed off
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
back from the Dentist, just a routine cleaning, but a new hygienist this time, my old one move on to bigger and better things. Owies, this girl is young, I swear I think she is younger then I am! And it HURT, this is the first time ever a routine cleaning has hurt this much, I was bleeding all over the place. And I so wasn't buying the 'you need to floss more' excuse, I've been brushing and flossing more often lately, so its not that, if anything I should be getting praise for flossing more! Damn it! :: pout :: well anyways, I'm going to go chill in mom's room watching a movie and enjoying the AC, while I wait for the ½ hr to be up so I can eat and drink something. (Yay fluoride!) Tags: banal, health
Current Mood:  blah
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Yar, went to the doctor, (OMG he was hot! The nurse was like, have you ever seen this doctor before, and I was like, I don't know, I could have and just not remembered, and she was like, oh, you'd remember. Growl, ;) So now I need blood work as part of my routine checkup, but I also need x-rays of my back 'cus I'm messed up and it will help with trying to get that surgery. So he did the usual checkup thing no problem, till he checked my back. Whoo yeah, that hurt. I have chronic lower back pain and lumbar problems, and my sciatic nerve on the right side is inflamed. Weee! :: cries :: How much do you think just to get myself a whole new body? Blah. Tags: banal, bodywork, health
Current Mood:  pessimistic
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Went swimming with Monica tonight Wee! We had fun, even though I had the wrong schedule so we were there like, an hour early. My back did feel a little better afterwards, and I got some exercise! woot! :D Definitely have to start doing this more often. I was pooped afterwards though, but that's a good thing too 'cus I have to go to bed early, have a 9:00 doctors appt in the morning. eek! I'm getting a full physical, and the doctor has to refer me to the guy who will be doing my surgery (even though I've already been to se him, insurance is fucked up like that.) It's a good thing I'm getting the physical, I haven't had one in a while, and I wont be on my dad's insurance for much longer (my mom's has already dropped me) although getting physicals are always depressing for me, yeah I know I'm unfit and fat, thanks. Tags: banal, bodywork, friends
Current Mood: tired
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Fuck you world, you get me all used to this routine and friends and company and room and environment then rip it all way from me violently. Fuck you parents for being so different, for only seeing me as I was, not as I am. Fuck you home for not growing up with me, for degenerating if anything. Fuck you friends who are there for you always then wave good bye as I’m dragged away. Fuck you school for teasing me with thoughtful conversations then tainting it with the foul entity of exams. Fuck you love for giving me a taste of paradise and then ripping it away and leaving me there raw and bitter in my own blood and puss. Fuck the world, fuck the government, fuck you, and fuck me. Thousands of dollars to be analy raped by the system Loving me gently with your dreams, ripping out my heart and leaving it bleeding, there, on the sandy earth. Shitting on me with your society and do’s and don’ts The plate ran way with the spoon, eh? Well fuck ‘em both. Fuck you world. Fuck you. Tags: banal, bookworm, drama, rant
Current Mood:  depressed
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You know, when I was younger I used to profess all the time “I wish I lived in the sixties.” I was a fool then. We are reliving the sixties right now, the world has gone mad once again, but this time, I get the feeling that people are a little too apathetic to make a difference, and if they aren’t, our leaders are too stupid and greedy to give a damn. I never felt quite o close to my dad before. He lived through the sixties, as did my mom. Whenever my dad talked about the war I though he was over exaggerating, you know, like dads do. Now I find that he was way under exaggerating, hoping that I would never have to put up with something like that in my lifetime. Maybe I should have listened more, maybe I should not have idealized the political times, maybe if I had, I would know mare, and be able to do more to make a difference. I can’t watch the news anymore, I physically get sick, and I get so depressed I have ‘irrational’ urges to cry or hurt. To beat our leaders over the head with I giant “clue-by-four” to beat in their head what they are doing is wrong make them feel the pain that everybody else is feeling right now. *sigh Tags: banal, drama
Current Mood: depressed
What's Playing?: Pink Floyd - on the turning away
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
sad![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
enraged
annoyed