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-- Theodore Roosevelt.
well, I have the big stick now, but I never did get the talk softly part down.
yeah, I have a cane.
my sciatic has been becoming more and more problematic lately, and last week wen we went to Watertown for groceries, I could barely walk, so yesterday we stopped by Walgreen's and Bill bought me a cane.
I really, really disliked the helpless feeling I was getting, I hated not being able to go where I wanted or do what I wanted, even in my own house, several times lately I've needed to ask Bill to come help be get from one room to another. it's an awful feeling.
So now I have a big fat look at me I'm a gimp cane.
fuck.
You know what the worse part is? it's not always bad, I'm usually ok when I wake up in the morning, and I can get to work and go almost a full 8 hours on my feet working with no problem but as soon as I get in the car to come home... BAM! I usually have trouble pulling my ass out of the car it hurts so bad, and then the rest of the day is shot.
or there are times like today, I was fine when I woke up, but I laid down on my back for a while, and apparently that's a bad position, and I had a lot of pain after getting up, and could barely walk. I can't do yoga. which sometimes helps, I don't have time or will power to pull my ass out of bed early enough to do it before work, and I'm to much in pain after work to even think about it.
My family understands because they've all been through crap like this, but I get weird looks from other people. and I'm sure if Tammy (my boss) finds out i'll never hear the end of it. I'm "too young to have pain" or I must be faking it, blah blah.
fuck.
I give up. |  |
Tags: banal, owies
Current Mood:  bitchy
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So how was my Memorial Day weekend? Bad and good. Since I work in a tourist town in a seasonal restaurant I worked yesterday and today, and boy were we busy. And of course I had to go and do something stupid Saturday and I think I broke my ass. Ok, I don't really think I broke it, but it really hurts. See, we moved the bird feeders to a pole in our front yard, and we can't see them from our living room window any more, but we can see them from the window on our front door, but it's really tall up, so I had this little stool I would stand on so I could see out. well, I was looking at the birds and I called Bill over to come look too, so he climbed up on the stool with me, (this was a tiny stool, at this point I only really had one foot on the stool and the other was hanging of the end) we saw a grackle do something weird, so Bill jumped down to go look it up in his bird book. Well when he got down, I didn't move back to the middle of the stool, and it tipped, the leg broke off, and I went flying. Limbs went everywhere, and my tail bone hit the stool on the way down. Very painful. Very. Then work today was extra busy, and I could bend over and standing up from a sitting position really hurt, but it wasn't that bad because the awesomely cool ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) ourika came down to visit, and we had a great time wandering around town and chatting with her. (YAY!) Tags: friends, owies, work
Current Mood:  tired
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And I don’t have any chopsticks :: pout :: Tylenol is definitely helping my back a little, and proper posture always helps. Today is my long day; I’m stuck here until 5:00. I was pretty much finished with everything I needed to do by 11:00, but I still have to stick around. I keep thinking about Bill I feel so obsessive, but I can’t help it, he’s so sweet and awesome and all that mushy stuff. :D I can’t wait until tomorrow, I get to go up and visit him. And meet the furry people. *squee!* I feel like Kiki on a sugar high. :: poing poing poin gpoing poing poing poing :: Speaking of chopsticks, I forgot to mention in my post about valentines but while Bill and I were at the Thai restaurant I was actually able to show him how to use chopsticks, and he said it was impossible! :: beam :: I feel so special. I am so bored sitting here. There’s really nothing for me to do but sit around and knit. (not that I’m complaining about being able to knit…) Bill’s mother knits, I feel like I already have a foot in the door to his parents liking me. (and they sound pretty cool too) All I have to worry about is winning over the puppy doggy, and I’m stopping at the mall to pick up some doggy cookies before I head over so that should help ;) Snarf came over earlier and dragged a bunch of crap upstairs to the office storage room today. Now the office looks a little better, but there is still a bunch of JUNK in the corner that needs to be cleaned out, and I can’t do it. And then after he left I noticed a pile of bags and a box shoved in another corner that I forgot to have him take up. And the box is way too heavy for my to handle. *sigh, ah well. Did I mention that I’m bored? The internet is dial up here, and painfully slow. *ahem* I MISS BILL!!!! Ok, had to do it, sorry ;) Blech. Think I’m going to go knit or read or something. Toodlies. Tags: food, friends, knitting, owies, platypus, work
Current Mood:  okay
What's Playing?: CCR - Susie Q.
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I feel much better now. I lay down and took a nap for a while and now my back isn’t bothering me nearly as much. Also, apparently Tylenol is only for back pain, does shit for my headaches, but wonders for my back. When I woke up Bill was online and then he called me and I felt MUCH better. :D *sigh You know, sometimes I disgust myself. Bill and I are in the ‘cute, disgusting, sweet’ phase. Even my cats are getting sick of the cuteness. And part of me is banging it’s head on the desk because of it. But when I’m with or talking to Bill I can’t help myself, he makes me feel so happy and squishy warm fuzzy. *dreamy sigh ah well. Tags: owies, platypus
Current Mood:  chipper
What's Playing?: Emerald Rose - Summerland
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I feel better now. By back still hurts, but after about 1/2 hr of creative stretching, meditating and laying stiff as a board it feels better. And now I’m not quite so headachy and fuzzy headed. Mom wants me to help her with the Statistics test tonight (I have to help he with the online part, I refuse to do her work for her) so I may not be able to go to Bryan’s and watch anime like we had planned. That kind of makes me sad, I haven’t seen him in a while, and I’m going through anime withdrawal. I have everything done here at work. But I still have to stick around until five so I can make up for the hours I missed earlier this week and for the hours I’m planning to miss Tuesday when I go to visit oaksongI keep finding myself being tempted to order something from the Chinese restaurant next door, but I know I shouldn’t because it’s bound to be greasy and bad for me. And I really need to watch my weight, especially with how badly I’ve been eating in my classes. Baking is the worse, all sorts of decedent treats that we have to taste and critique. Yummy. I put a pan full of water on the heater the other day, and have been keeping it full. It’s help somewhat with the dryness in the office, but the metal objects around me are still shocking me far too often. I think it’s a conspiracy. I’ve been listening to my Abba CD a lot lately. My cousin, Tasha gave it to me for Christmas, and I just recently found it while I was cleaning my room. I really want to get the Mama Mia CD now as well. I blame riki_kiki_taco for my addiction. :p My eyes have been acting up a lot lately, making it difficult to wear my contacts. Just another addition to the list of things messed up by my BC. I’m definitely going to have to talk to PP about going on a different prescription or something. A lot of my friends at school are on Depo, but I’m a bit too fond of my period to seriously think about getting it. Although I do have to admit it would be convenient to no longer have to remember to take a pill at the same time every night. Well I guess I’m going to go and read some, or maybe knit until five. Only an hour and 10 min left before I can go home. Weee! Tags: family, food, friends, happyears, owies, skool, work
Current Mood:  calm
What's Playing?: Billy Joel - All About Soul
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I am not in a very good mood today. I woke up this morning feeling extra fuzzy in the head, and my damned sciatic is killing me, it hurts to move rolling over in bed last night was hell.(prolly why I didn’t sleep well) Also today is the long day of cooking in the kitchen. Normally I love cooking, but I’m stuck having to work with a bunch of lazy idiots. *sigh And don’t even get me started on work! Yar. I have to deal with a bunch of people who cont get it through there thick heads that they have to f-ing TELL me if they need something done, but still insist on pointing out my mistakes in front of the whole congregation on Sunday. And the stupid ex secretary had absolutely NO organizational skill or common sense for that matter and I have to deal with the aftermath. To top it all off our pastor can’t be there this Sunday so I have to change the whole bulletin last minute and deal with a sub. :: bangs head on desk :: ugh. I just want to take a pin pill and crawl into bed and STAY there. Tags: owies, rant, work
Current Mood: crappy
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Ugh Work was annoying today. Apparently the computer has a vendetta against me... or maybe it's just because it's a piece of crap running off of win 98, which is completely fucked up. And I can't wait until I can figure out where everything goes and how everything is done so I don't need to wait for my grandmother to putz around and explain stuff. Things would go so much faster and smoother then. I go to warm up my car after work (dad fixed it! YAY! THANK YOU DADDY!) and I pull up to pick up grandma outside the front door, and she had forgotten the mail we needed o send out...*sigh. I'll take care of it tomorrow. Should have done it myself, but I thought she would remember. Oh well. I come home and I have one hell of a headache starting. And I see dad hadn't switched my clothed to the dryer like I had asked him to do. *sigh. Great, now that's going to take forever to finish. I come upstairs to take a piss and maybe lay down for a nap. And dad's on the computer trying to order his prescriptions. And of course even though he's done it a million times he still has to have me there to hold his hand. Bah Mom calls and wanted to know of I would go with her to staples to take back the printer she just bought for work. Apparently it's broken. And I told her I was hoping to go see Big Fish with Monica. Btu I wasn't sure because of my headache. And I couldn't get a hold of Monica 'cus dad was on the computer. And I wanted to see if she was online first (that and I couldn't remember her number and needed to look it up) Dad hears me mention him in the other room and starts bitching because I'm talking about him, and wants to know who I'm talking to. Them mom wants to talk to him. And she starts bitching at Him because he's keeping me from talking to Monica. Now I didn't have a problem with waiting until he was done. But mom hadn't given me a chance to explain. So no dads all angry and bitchy 'cus mom bitched at him. And I have a huge headache. I finally call Monica (she wasn't online) and tell her I don't think I can see the movie tonight. And I feel horrible about it 'cus it's her birthday and we've been wanting to see this for a while. But I cannot sit through a movie with this headache. *sigh so now I'm going to go take a nap and wait for mom to come home, and yell at me about dad, and go to staple with her. And maybe I'll be feeling better when I wake up and will be able to at least go over to Monica's later and hang out. Tags: banal, family, owies
Current Mood: cranky
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Went to the office to scope the place out. It was a MESS. They were very unorganized, files everywhere and random stuff that obviously didn't belong in the office were strewn about the shelves. I nearly cried when I got to the computer. Slooow dial up connection, the desktop was a mess (I'm kinda obsessive about messy computer desktops and file placement) and there were programs w/o CDs. The old secretary apparently took a lot of work home and did it there because she was too lazy to get the Word CD out and install the features needed to do them. And also had a tendency to randomly put files wherever she felt. *sigh the pastor at larger should be there tomorrow and I can get some info from him to work on the bulletin (that should only take an hour or so with all the info I need.) and John will be there so I can talk to him about the books (there really weird, first time I have seen the total listed first in a ledger and with side numbers between it and the numbers being totaled) Also, luckily I have a program here at home that I can't use but would work beautifully for putting together the addresses for the mailing lists and Tower Times. (The old secretary took it home and used her own special program. Guess she though she was going to work there forever and nobody else would ever need to do it too....) Its going to be weird tomorrow, I wore my only pair of fitting pants (my others are tow tight with the swelling yet, but that should go down in about a month or so) so I have to wear a skirt and the only one I have that's good enough for all this cold is my black gothy skirt... so the cute little pagan Goth church secretary gets to meet the Baptist minister she has to work with. Meow My belly button hurts, The doc gave me Silver sulfadiazine to put in it to help it heal and prevent any fungus that may be wanting to grow in its warm moist breeding ground. Unfortunately it burns and itches like crazy now, and is making it look all gross and gooey, and I think I may be making the previous yucky parts peel. My belly button also started bleeding again a little, but I don't know it was caused by my overzealous cleaning, or the ointment. Well I need sleep; have to get up in the morning to go back to the office again. Blech. toodlies Tags: banal, bodywork, health, looks, outside, owies, rant, spirituality, work
Current Mood: tired
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Ok damnit. I have so much gas I can power this whole damned house! For like the first 2 days I was home it was all gas and no shit, and it was sooo annoying. But the worst was in the hospital, I had gas and heartburn and bloating so bad, but nothing would come out so it just kept building so painful I couldn't sleep. Finally I'm starting to shit again (I never thought I would be so glad to shit in my life) but I still have tons of gas! (the doc's say the gas is because when they were messing around in my stomach they created pockets and upsets in my GI tract and they are all rearranging themselves and working it out) and since my stomach topography has changed suddenly I'm still getting used to what pressure or bilp means what. So sometimes I feel like I gotta shit and its just gas, and once I though I just had to fart, and I was damned lucky I was already on the toilet because it was a veritable downward fountain of shit. I'm averaging about 10 - 12 Tums a day because of this, and the doc won't let me have anything else because of all the other med's I'm on. Well I gotta go to bed and take my pain meds. Oh yeah, apparently I'm on the same med's that Rush Limbaugh got hooked on. Sad thing is I really don't notice any big relief of pain when I take them, unless of course I'm lying down and relaxing. But I take them anyways because otherwise mom bitches at me. So I guess in a way the do relieve my pain.... Tags: bodywork, health, owies, rant
Current Mood:  annoyed
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Owies Took the kitten to the vet today to get his checkup and shots. He loved the car ride there; he sat in the passenger seat and looked out the window like a dog. Very cute. (Don't worry he was on a small retractable leash which was belted in, he wasn't going anywhere) He was a little nervous in the waiting room with all the weird noises and people around, but he was ok. Then we took him into the examination room and the nurse tried to take his temperature... Disaster, he was all over the place, scratching and biting and having little kitty hysterics. After that I was able to get him a little calmer while we waited for the doctor, but when he tried to examine him he would bite and scratch and get all spastic. The doctor was great though, he handled it smoothly and kept him as calm as possible, I was impressed. They had to take Rusty into the other room to get his shots and have the blood drawn for the feline leukemia test, and while he was there I asked to have his claws trimmed. They said they were ale to keep him distracted enough to get everything done, they even got the de-worming pill in with no problem. After that we had to wait a little bit for the test results so I let him run around and explore the exam room on the leash and I talked to the doctor about getting him neutered and de-clawed and about having to get boosters for some of his shots. The blood work was negative so we were set to go, I made an appt for Tues, Nov. 4 for Rusty to go into the hospital and get de-clawed and fixed. And then about 2-3 weeks later he needs his boosters. So now he's home and happy and Boogs is happy because he doesn't have sharp claws anymore. But my hands are still sore from the scratching Rusty dealt out before he got hem trimmed. Ah well. Tags: outside, owies, pets
Current Mood:  happy
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I feel really out of it right now. I've been on the road most of the day, then I cam home and laid down t help my back (which was killing me) an fell asleep, so not I'm not tired, but I'm really in pain, Tylenol and the cream helps a little, but it's just not enough. I'm really kind of spacey 'cus of it all. On top of that, Alfa hasn't been online for several nights now. Usually he's online, but away, but he hasn't even been signed on. Last time he was offline for a long time, he warned me before hand. But I haven't heard a peep from him. I'm really worried for all I know he could be in a hospital somewhere in a coma, or something as simple as a dead computer. I'm starting to go through Alfa withdrawal; I really miss talking to him. I sent him an e-mail to his Yahoo SN, and sent a few messages to him through YIM (got a nice little offline messaging feature.) I don't want to get too stalker though, but I'm really beginning to worry. I've thought of asking Linds to go check in on the shop. I want to try calling, but I feel weird calling w/ asking first and anyways its long distance and I don't have the cash for a calling card. Blah. Tags: owies, young love
Current Mood:  depressed
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My back hurts :: bitch, moan, complain, complain :: I strained it when I went to corning, all that driving, walking, sleeping on the floor, walking again, and then more driving. It probably wouldn't have been that bad, but I'm sure my weight, and the fact that the next day I got pulled all over the place by my dog helped in the downward spiral to agony. Mom bought me some of that old person cream stuff that you put on sore muscles, but the problem is it's the whole right side of my lower back and going down from there to my whole upper leg, so yeah, that's a lot of cream (once again, 'cus I'm fat and stuff) but by using it its allowed me to relax my back and help it heal. tonight I'm going to go swimming w/ Monica, and swimming always makes my back feel better. Tags: owies
Current Mood:  sore
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jubilant
drained
cold
crappy
energetic